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My inspiration for this piece is outrage and spiraling. I still get confused about this and how it shows up. My rage is triggered when I am disrespected but I do not know how to deal with it sometimes, I have this internal fight of, should I leave? Should I try and correct this behavior? Or am I the problem in this instance? It unknowingly becomes a spiral of rage, blame, insecurity, while still having some awareness of myself and the situation. I feel guilty while feeling like I should have some confidence in myself that I approached it in the best way possible at that time. But I never feel 100% confident that I am not the problem, if I deny the possiblity that I am the problem, does that mean that I am most likely part of the problem? I get upset with myself for it. I should be more confident. I should have responded better. Maybe if I didn't say anything then the problem would not be as big as it ended up being, or could have been avoided in the first place. I do not always know the best way to respond, and maybe part of it is me feeding into the problem rather than finding a solution, but I can only find out with experience and getting it wrong sometimes. And to be honest, it still sucks when I get it wrong, but I can choose to learn from it.
To Her Internal Storm